1. A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce. She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian n yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
2. Woman: Dr.An ant entered my vagina, please take it out.
Doctor: removes her panties and start making love .
Woman: What are you doing?
Doctor: This is the only way to drown the bastard!
3. Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Ans: YOUR SALARY. It comes once a month last 3–4 days; if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
4. A lady visited her doctor again, Dr.said: U look more sick; exhausted then b 4.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought u said 3 MALES a day!!!!
5. Women asked God to make the penis pretty. God said" No way; now as it is, penis is so ugly; U still Suck It. If I make it pretty, you'll eat It up!!
6. A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up.When the doctor told her she waz pregnant, she cried n said,"Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore!
7. A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl; asked" Do U have this? "The girl lifted up her skirt; said, "My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
8. Schoolgirl: I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION Class
Teacher: Why not?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
9. Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the ad&is shocked " 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
10. What is the strongest muscle? Tongue. It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick! The lightest muscle? Penis! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!
11. Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The officer become angry; shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name? Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
12. Man to wife: Business is bad if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant.
Wife: asshole! If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener; watchman.
13. Cock say to his two balls: I am going to take you with me to a party. Balls said: You big fucking liar. You always get inside and leave us waiting outside!
14. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like? Mama dog reply: wow do I know your papa came from behind; I didn't have chance to see his face"!
15. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, panic is when both are pregnant
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