Reading: Characteristic of people

The Dean...
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound;
Is more powerful than a locomotive;
Is faster than a speeding bullet;
Walks on water;
Gives policy to God.

Head of Department.. .
Leaps short buildings with a single bound;
Is more powerful than a switch engine;
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet;
Takes a few steps on water;
Talks with God.

Professor...
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds;
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine;
Is faster than a speeding BB;
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool;
Talks with God if a special request is honored.

Associate Professor...
Barely clears a quonset hut;
Loses tug of war with a locomotive;
Can fire a speeding bullet;
Swims well;
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Lecturer...
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap over tall
buildings;
Is run over by locomotives;
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury;
Treads water.

Instructor.. .
Climbs walls continually;
Rides the rails;
Plays Russian Roulette;
Walks on thin ice;
Prays a lot.

Graduate Student...
Runs into buildings;
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times;
Is not issued ammunition;
Can stay afloat with a life jacket;
Talks to walls.

Undergraduate Student...
Falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings;
Says "Look at the choo-choo";
Wets himself with a water pistol;
Plays in mud puddles;
Mumbles to himself.